So this is
it. Tomorrow night, I take the bus to Mexico City and it’s goodbye San
Cristobal. In many ways, the fact that I´m leaving hasn’t sunk in yet. I’m living my life here exactly as it’s been
lived for the past ten months (except for the fact that I took off of work
today and have dismounted the hundreds of colorful quotes, cards and letters
that adorned my room this year from my walls), but I also know a big change is
coming: a change that will bring a lot of joyful reunions and excitement about
the future, but will also, at moments, leave a sharp pain in my heart.
I’m sure
the ways in which I will miss this place, this experience, these people, will
only become clear to me as I settle into another rhythm of life. And for that
reason, I can’t tell you what will be the hardest part of leaving...yet. What I
can do is make a list of a few things I will miss and a few things I won’t. I
think it’s easy to glorify an experience in hindsight, and I’m sure I’ll do
much of that for the rest of my life. I do, however, think it’s also important
to acknowledge that no experience is perfect and there are certain parts of
Mexico that I will be glad to leave behind.
I won’t
miss:
- some smells. Yes, the bakeries smell heavenly, but I will have no problem saying goodbye to sewage smells and the dried fish section of the market.
- closed streets. Houses are built very close together here; neighbors usually share a side wall. Added to the lack of space between houses, a protective front wall always extends to the street and the gate usually has spiky points on top to prevent intruders. Occasionally, I walk by a seldom-open gate and am blown away by what I see inside: a spacious and tasteful patio, a restored colonial home or even an entire subdivision. While I understand the perceived security walls can bring, I won’t miss feeling alone and claustrophobic as I walk down the streets.
- meat. Yes, I’ve grown accustomed to meat and yes, I successfully downed Eduardo’s (former) pet rabbit last week (don’t tell, he would be horrified to know that he wasn’t, in fact, eating “free range chicken”). However, returning to a majority-vegetarian diet will be a welcome change.
- unknown males leering and making unwelcome comments. Of course this happens in the US too, but my eyes and skin-tone won’t be abnormal there, and our culture is not quite as accepting of men telling unknown women they love them or appraising their bodies.
- scented toilet paper. Again, I understand that when you throw toilet paper into the trash can instead of the bowl, a “fresh, flowery scent” can be appealing, but I’m all for non-smelly tp.
I will
miss…
- the colors and the sounds. I have a hunch that the atmosphere in the US will feel sterile to me. Where will the fireworks be at all hours of the day? The colorful market? Indigenous language and clothing? Pumping music? Water and gas trucks announcing their presence with catchy tunes blared over loudspeakers?
- spanish. I hope that speaking Spanish will still be a part of my life in the States, but even so, I know that it won’t be to same extent as it is here. I may never again dream about being a contestant on “100 Mexicanos dijeron” (the Mexican version of Family Feud).
- walking and public transportation. It’s been liberating not to have a car this year. It limits my ability to be lazy and say “I’ll just drive,” and when walking isn’t an option, a combi is just around the corner…better for the environment, better for me.
- the food: chalupas, quesadillas, tropical fruit…
- my family. As I was reflecting on who I consider my family here, I realized that I can’t pick between my host family and my fellow MCCers. They’ve both been such integral parts of my experience, and I will miss them each dearly: conversations with Liliana, Gabi’s jokes, Eduardo scampering around the house, Miriam’s laughter, Rick’s dance moves, Jacquie’s wisdom, Ezra’s thoughtfulness and Hilary’s exuberant greetings.
And with
that, it’s off to the next great adventure. I’m ready to go, but hope to be
back. Although Mexico will not be my home next year, it will be my next-door
neighbor and there will be many ways for me to keep living this experience from
the other side of the border.
