And never, never to forget

Between January 16 and 22, I returned to Guatemala, land of chicken buses, Quetzales, Crush soda and Gallo beer. More important than these trivial details, though, I consider my current next-door neighbor the birthplace of my love for Latin America. When I was ten, my parents and I took our annual summer vacation to Quetzaltenango (Xela), Guatemala.  For two weeks, we lived with a host family and studied Spanish. While my Spanish skills may not have developed significantly during these two weeks (I failed to grasp the significance of the verb conjugation cards my teachers made me, though I fell in love with the black tea served at breaks and the many games I played during hours of classes), something about the culture and people of Guatemala and Latin America spoke to me and has been growing inside me for the last 13 years. For me, living in Mexico is living the dream, as was having the opportunity to return to Guatemala, to a place that in one way or another was the catalyst for this part of my life journey.

What took me to Guatemala for a week, you ask? The MCC Mesoamerica retreat in Santiago Atitlàn.  For several days, around 60 MCCers serving in Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua and Honduras gathered for a time of fellowship, spiritual renewal and discussions on the theme "development work in violent contexts." Though at times overwhelming to be with so many new people, I was inspired by those of all ages serving with MCC in Mesoamerica. I thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to visit the home and workplace of my fellow SALTer Aaron and the chance to be reminded that my work here and that of the other seven MCCers in Mexico is part of something bigger.  It was also wonderful to soak up the sun on the beautiful Lake Atitlan by boat, foot and kayak, all the while in the shadow of three impressive volcanoes.

The theme for our week, development work in violent contexts, spoke to me in a very unique way. As I listened to the stories of my fellow MCCers and the presentations of our guest speaker, Erlinda de Robledo from San Pedro Sula, Honduras, I realized what a unique situation I am in. In comparison to where many other MCCers are serving, I am in an incredibly safe city. I've begun to take for granted the fact that I can walk alone until 9:30 at night, a good three hours after sunset, the fact that I can take a taxi by myself at any time of the day or night, and the fact that I rarely feel scared or threatened here.This, in contrast with those who rarely go out after sundown or who need to keep some money in an easily accessible pocket at all times in case of an assault or robbery.

My reflections on this theme went beyond personal safety and I found myself contemplating the violent contexts of the countries in which those of us in Latin America live. In my October 20 post, I struggled with the extreme violence and injustice I was learning about here in Mexico. For my first several months, the pace of my heart increased every time I passed a soldier or private security guard with an immense and imposing gun. And I saw this a lot, owing to the fact that Chiapas is one of the most militarized state in Mexico. I cried over the massacres, drug-related killings and the abundance of innocent incarcerations. My stomach turned over every time I saw a gruesome photo of a dead body painted across the cover of a "newspaper" that, to me, seemed more like a tabloid. But over time, I realized at this retreat, I`ve found ways of steeling myself to these tragedies. I`ve found ways of garding my heart to more easily live into the rush of work, family time and a full social life. With this realization, aided by the reflection time provided throughout the retreat, came a wave of horrifying realizations: the realization that some of these situations no longer hit me as hard as they did during my first months; the realization that yesterday I stopped at a gas station with a friend and didn`t blink an eye at the huge guns the military men toted; the realization that I am, in fact, becoming immune and hardened. This hit me like a sharp blow to the gut and it further affirmed my belief that exposure to violence and injustice has the potential to numb the pain. And I don`t want to succumb. Even though pain hurts, I don`t want it to stop hurting. Because when it stops hurting, you can start to forget. Or you can become indifferent. And then you can stop caring and stop acting against violence and for peace. And I don`t want to stop acting.

So this retreat reminded me to fight the urge to get too comfortable. And it reminded me not to forget. That`s one of the reasons I studied history at Goshen College...because I think we can use the past to shape the future. But it doesn`t work if we forget.

In contemplating this blog post, I remember a powerful text that a dear friend, Julia, shared with me in the latter part of last year. It now adorns my bedroom wall along with other quotes, pictures and cards that many of you have sent with me this year. And now I share it with you:

To love. To be loved. To never forget your own significance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To persue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To repeat strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try to understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget. -Arundati Roy-

So here`s to never forgetting.      

Beaches, Birthdays and Bingo: bringing 2011 to a close

November and December brought me increasing comfort in my daily life in Chiapas. It brought multiple chances to explore my surroundings outside of San Cristóbal.  It brought many days filled with Skip-bo, nights full of salsa dancing, deeper connections, new friends and the passage of many holidays both familiar and unfamiliar. These months brought my first visitor, my 23rd birthday and most importantly, an increasing sense of peace in who and where I am in this world. But enough of my words, dear reader. I´ll let the images do the rest of the talking. 

Magaly--Gabriel´s sister

A weekend at the beach: Boca del Cielo
Photos courtesy of Lucie

Lathering on the sunscreen. Be proud, Dad, very proud.

I think I´m third from the left

Because what´s a weekend at the beach without seafood? 
The shark empanadas were probably my favorite.

Though you can´t tell, this sunset gave way to one of the
starriest nights I´ve every experienced. It was magical.

This is the little girl I wrote about in my Thanksgiving post:
the one who wished we would all become stars one day.

Día de la Revolución parade
20 November

My 23rd birthday was one of, if not the best I´ve ever experienced.
After taking the traditional face-bite of my tres leches cake at INESIN,
I returned home to a lunch with my family and the Blocks. These are the
delicious lemon pound cakes Jaquie baked and the card written by Ezra.
The two candles along with another in the shape of a red apple that adorned
my room when I arrived became my advent wreath during the month of December.

Excessively excited to turn 23!!!!!

Eduardo attempting (though only partially successfully)
to avoid being captured in this momentous photo.

And the evening ended with a party with friends.
Meet Nicolas and Luis! Photos again courtesty of Lucie.

 

 

 

And the happiest part of my wonderful day:
EEYORE PIÑATA!

Marie and Lucie--party-organizers extraordinaire

Saturday at Rancho Nuevo

Even a day-outing couldn´t keep Liliana and me
from our Skip-bo addiction.

Carne asada

Chiapas: my beautiful home

Chiflón: one of the many waterfalls in this water-filled state

A day at Lagos de Colón with INESIN

Young-adult Christmas celebration at the Presbyterian church
I´ve been attending. During this evening I had the honor of
being a judge for the American Idolesque caroling competition.
Too bad I´ve never actually watched the show :)

In true Mexican form, I´m getting my fill of piñatas this year.

Amanda

Abi at the grill during INESIN´s Christmas party
And yes, I ate the meat :)

 

 

This is Miriam, MCC Chiapas´ newest team member. She came
in late November and is renting an apartment on my street. The
week before Christmas we got together for a morning of cookie-baking.

Liliana and Eduardo stopped by to help

Peppernuts, sugar cut-outs and a few lime shortbread cookies. 
The rest are featured in the center of the table as lime butter
brittle! oops :)

Elena, teaching me to embroider

And then came Christmas and Joe, my first visitor.  On Christmas Eve
we ate cookies, drank hot chocolate, read the Christmas story and my
favorite copy of The Night Before Christmas, mailed by my wonderful mother.

Christmas fireworks. I won´t even venture a guess
at how many of these things exploded from the middle
of December until 6 January (Día de los Reyes Magos).

On the way to Palenque.

New Year´s Eve. We filled the evening with fireworks, LOTS of
meat (I even sampled raw beef) and bingo.

I thought the midnight toast would bring the evening´s festivities
to a close, but apparently changing the calendar only helped spice
the party up.  Instead of scurrying off to bed, we spent the next two
hours dancing around the living room.

Joe and I did a lot over his almost two weeks here, though you
won´t see it reflected in these photos.  Somehow his camera (which
we had used for visually recording our adventure) got lost. To
compensate, on the last two days I took an excessive number of
photos of our trip to the Lagos de Montebello.

And I name this one "out of a Land´s End catalogue"

Straddling the Mexico/Guatemala border at Lago Internacional

I received endless grief from two Swiss men we met for my inadequate
footwear.  BUTIT´SNOTTHERAINYSEASON!!! How was I to know?

Elote with chile and lime. About as Mexican as you can get.

Our guide at a sinkhole reachable only by horseback.

I call this one "Almost out of a North Face catalogue"

 

 

 

 

 

Happy New Year, dear readers!  Thanks for joining me on the journey.